


Window

by LittleLoops



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: M/M, seikki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-10
Updated: 2013-10-10
Packaged: 2017-12-29 01:22:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/999191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleLoops/pseuds/LittleLoops
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>A very short standalone piece completed for a writing exercise. <br/>Not sure it even counts as Seikki, but here it is anyway. :)</p>
    </blockquote>





	Window

**Author's Note:**

> A very short standalone piece completed for a writing exercise.   
> Not sure it even counts as Seikki, but here it is anyway. :)

"Is that what you first liked about him?"

Seb didn't look at her as she repeated the question. He continued to stare out through the vertical blinds draped across the office window, watching a woman with dark hair screwing up her third attempt to reverse-park her Volvo. The space was too small; or maybe the car was too big. Either way, they didn't fit. It was never going to work. 

"Sebastian?"

The room was so quiet. He could hear the water slowly pulsing through the radiator pipes and the soft scratching of Elise's pencil on her notepad. 

"No," he mumbled, as Volvo-lady gave up and drove further into the car park out of his sight. He turned to look at Elise. Patient and professional as always, she was watching him, waiting for him to continue. "But it's one of the things I most like about him now. I feel small. In a good way. Like I can hide behind him." He paused. "Mein heiligtum," he whispered. Elise looked over the top of her reading glasses at him. 

"My..." Seb's fingers fluttered in the air as he thought. "Sanctuary?" She nodded. Perhaps, Seb pondered, he should have found a counsellor who spoke German, but Elise had been highly recommended by one of the few people he trusted enough to talk to about his 'problem'.

"So he makes you feel protected?" she asked, still watching him closely. Seb nodded. "From what?"

"Them," he said in a small voice, giving his quickest answer of the session. "All of them." Elise scribbled another note. He turned back to the window. "Everyone wants something." He paused again, choosing his words carefully, more out of habit than necessity. "Some want you to lead them. Win for them. Lose for them." A small resentful laugh. "Some just want me to go away. Take up rallying maybe," he said, flashing a throwaway smile. He could feel Elise studying him. "But he stands there, with me, in front of me, and it's like they can't see me. Just for a moment." He began picking invisible lint off the back of the sofa. "Just for one second." He sighed. "And then he'll smile and - " Seb stopped picking and looked at his hands. "He used to hug me. After quali. After races. Big bear hugs." He mimed the action, curving his arms and balling his fists. "He doesn't do that anymore." His hands fell into his lap.

"Why do you think he stopped?"

"Because I asked him to," he shrugged. "I thought people would see. See right through me." His voice drifted away and he went back to staring out of the window. The rain had stopped but its greyness still hung over the day, subduing the colours of the cars below.

"Do you miss it, Sebastian?"

"No," he said, a little too quickly, before glancing over at Elise and smiling sheepishly. "Yes."

Another car pulled in, a small red thing. It scooted past the space, paused and reversed in a quick arc. Job done. It's owner leapt out and disappeared into the street. 

"But I can't exactly tell him that, can I?" he said flatly. It wasn't really a question. The Volvo drove back around, slowing by the newly-filled space. "I guess sometimes you don't realise you won't get another chance." He watched the Volvo pull out onto the main road. "And you tell yourself it wouldn't have worked anyway. Wasn't a good fit."

"Is that what you tell yourself. Sebastian?"

He looked at Elise as she rested the pencil on the pad, realising he didn't want to answer that question just yet, and went back to staring at the traffic crawling by.


End file.
